


family - newfound, strange.

by evenstar9



Series: maybe the real family is the spren we bonded along the way [2]
Category: Cosmere - Brandon Sanderson, Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson
Genre: Book 03: Oathbringer, Book 03: Oathbringer Spoilers, Gen, Shadesmar (Stormlight Archive), don't know if this totally makes sense but I have feelings about them ok, on the honorspren's boat, pattern and shallan have a talk, their bond needs more love like kal and syl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:20:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24932914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evenstar9/pseuds/evenstar9
Summary: Shallan is sulking while on board the honorspren's vessel, and thankfully her oldest friend is there to help. Only at the moment, he's a lot more human than she's used to.-a lightweaver and her cryptic have a chat, because someone around here needs to talk about their problems
Relationships: Shallan Davar & Pattern
Series: maybe the real family is the spren we bonded along the way [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1804468
Comments: 8
Kudos: 20





	family - newfound, strange.

**Author's Note:**

> Family, strange, in newfound connection. Connection found new, in strange family.

“Mmmmm.”

Shallan started, turning from her view of the glass sea to notice Pattern’s swirling features next to her.

“Do you have to sneak up on me like that?” she asked, trying in vain not to sound as tense as she felt.

“I am always with you, Shallan. Mmm. I do not sneak.” His strange black form turned to look over the railing at the view as she had been doing. She followed suit, finding herself frustrated by the constant motion of the patterns that made up his head. That was odd- she didn’t usually find herself so testy when around him. It was only when she thought of-

Her mind tried to shut down, but she forced it not to. Wit expected better of her. To tell the truth, she expected better of herself, too.

I am usually only angry with Pattern, she thought, when I think of how I used him to kill my mother. 

There. She’d let herself think it.

Pattern buzzed again beside her. “Shallan, I am not a sword now. Do you still hate me?”

Her stomach twisted.

“I don’t hate you, Pattern.”

“Mmmmmm.” He sounded thoughtful. “But you are... angry?”

She nodded slowly. “I hate what I did with you, and remembering it makes me angry. It’s easier than being sad, I suspect.”

“Easier? The emotion is... easier?” He sounded confused.

“It’s hard to explain,” she answered. “But it’s ok. Either way, I don’t hate you, Pattern. Not really.”

He buzzed skeptically, but didn’t argue with her more. Save his soft humming and the sound of the beads on the hull, everything was quiet for several minutes. Finally, Pattern spoke again.

“I like you, Shallan,” he observed, sounding proud of himself for some reason.

“I should hope so, you’ve stuck around long enough. I’d imagine finding me as annoying as you probably should would make your job much harder.”

“I do a good job,” he buzzed in reply, still sounding satisfied.

“Yes, you’re very helpful to me,” she acknowledged. “And I suppose I wouldn’t be a Knight Radiant without you. I guess I should thank you for that,” she noted.

“Nnnnnoooooo,” he hummed, long and drawn out like what he was saying was obvious. “Not just with the lies. I protect. I can be a good sword,” he explained, and it struck her that maybe she had spent too long being angry with him for something that was so important to who he was. As her bonded spren, part of his role was to be her weapon as well as her companion. She thought of Adolin’s deadeye, who had been trapped as a sword forever when her Radiant broke their oath, and shuddered. She couldn’t imagine the same happening to Pattern. She needed him.

“I could have died,” she whispered. “That night, with my mother. You did protect me. It was horrible, but I lived on. Just like Wit said. Because of you.” She shivered, freehand gripping the railing tightly as she waded through the memory.

“Mmmmmm.” His tone indicated that he was pleased with the compliment. When had he learned to fish for them, she wondered? He’d probably listened in on one too many of her flirtatious conversations with Adolin. It was easy to bait the prince into complimenting her, and he seemed to genuinely mean everything he said, which made it even better. After her confusing conversations with Kabsal, it was refreshing to be around a man who didn’t mind being easy to read.

“-when you kill me,” Pattern finished saying, and she started again. She hadn’t been listening.

“What?”

“I will have learned so much, and protected you. That is why I will not mind when you kill me, Shallan.” He didn’t seem upset by the idea, which never did seem to concern him.

“I told you, Pattern. I won’t kill you,” she insisted.

“Mmmmm. It is alright, Shallan. You do not have to lie.”

She frowned. “Pattern, you can tell when someone is lying. Listen to me. I will not kill you.”

“Mmmmm,” he buzzed, surprised. He hummed thoughtfully. “That is not a lie. You are telling the truth?”

She smiled softly. “I am. You’re my oldest friend, Pattern. Sometimes it’s hard, but I can’t hate you. I’d actually prefer to keep you around for a while.”

He hummed a confused tone at her last comment.

“If only because I’d hate to give up the Soulcasting already. I haven’t even gotten good at it yet,” she continued, and he buzzed faster.

“Ah! You use sarcasm?” He sounded pleased.

“Quite constantly,” she answered. She looked out over the dark horizon, squinting to see if she could tell where beads ended and sky began. 

There was a moment of silence, and then she felt a hand on her shoulder. Surprised, she turned, just in time for Pattern to awkwardly step closer and haltingly bring his arms around her. She ducked to avoid the spinning lines of his head, and allowed him to pull her close, her head on his cold and hard, but strangely solid, chest. On the other side, Pattern merely had a slight presence, no more than the sensation of fluttering insect wings on your skin. Here, he was corporeal, though she hadn’t done more than take his hand. He didn’t feel human, and his arms were stiff, but the hug was an endearing attempt nonetheless. When he let go a moment later, she stepped back, shaking her head in amusement.

“Where did you learn to do that?”

“Mmmm. You hugged the King’s Wit because he was kind to you. I observed that he embraced you as well. It is something humans do when they are being kind, is it not?” He sounded vaguely concerned, as if worried he had overstepped or judged incorrectly.

She smiled, her earlier tension melting. “Yes, it is. You’re right. That was kind of you, Pattern.”

“Mmmm.” He went silent for a moment. “Shallan?”

“Hmm?” she hummed back, turning away again to lean against the railing.

“You are... my friend too.”

She raised an eyebrow, feeling something grow warmer inside her. She stepped sideways, closer to him as he stood straight-backed looking at the view of his homeland.

“If I might hazard a guess, Pattern, though your studies of humanity have been quite comprehensive, I think that’s the most important thing you’ve learned yet.”


End file.
